This morning I found a list of reasons why he loved me, and I realized all those things no longer apply.
He would text me during the week things that would confuse me, making it seem like he wanted to work things out but he never verbally said he wanted to. I guess with that he wanted to see my actions and base it on that. But I cant act like everything is ok until it is.
So today I finally realized that this is who I am. Im not going to change. I cant change him and he cant change me. I think Im a great person but if you get on my bad side, you’re fucked!! For once I had to stop being selfish and stop forcing him to be with me if Im not what he wants. I know I have my flaws, but its a part of who I am. If being selfish is bad, then I need to learn to just let them go and be selfish on my own and move on.
I just need to learn to see the signs of when things go wrong and just step back and let it go. Because things wont get better. I only make it worse. Im a control freak and want things to go my way.
So tomorrow is a new day, and Im just gonna focus on making myself happy.
