Emotions and Communication

Posted on April 12, 2011 by

My new lesson on this journey is becoming aware of my emotions and what triggers them.  Siddhartha Gautama (563- 483 BC) mentioned that the root cause of suffering is the frustration of our desires and expectations. I have come to realize that a lot of my anger and sadness was due to high desires, high expectations, and a lot of poisonous thinking. “Your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that block all true relationship,” (Tolle, 1999).  My personal issues with my parents have had a real negative effect on my relationships. I tried to fill a void and would expect these relationships to do what my parents didn’t. I demanded a lot from the other person and got really angry when they wouldn’t meet my expectations. I would easily run away and allowed my mind to think of every worst-case scenario. “The mind loves to get its teeth into problems,” (Tolle, 1999). In turn, these thoughts had me convinced that there was something wrong with me and that there was a reason these people were treating me the way they did.

With help, I came to realize that it wasn’t me. My parents had their own issues with their emotions and didn’t know how to deal with them. They dealt with their feelings the only way they knew how, through their desires and expectations. I learned to forgive and have empathy for them, because they didn’t know any better.

Dr. Randy asked me “Why don’t you tell him how you feel?” And as I sat there crying, I realized my lack of communication was due to fear: fear of abandonment. I have spent most of my time in my head, worrying that if I said something wrong, he’d judge me and leave. Dr. Randy reminded me that I’m very artsy; I take pride in expressing myself through my clothes, hair, tattoos, etc. He told me, through words, I’m expressing what’s in my heart. That it is a form of art in itself. He advised me to express myself through requests instead of demands.

So now I have to learn the law of detachment. Deepak Chopra (1994) mentions:

“Anything you want can be acquired through detachment, because detachment is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of your true Being. Attachment, on the other hand, is based on fear and insecurity.”

 

 

References

Chopra, Deepak. (1994). The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing

Tolle, Eckhart. (1999). The Power of Now. Novato, CA: New World Library

Posted in My Philosophy | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Life Lesson #12

Posted on March 29, 2011 by

Everything happens for a reason.

Every animal on this planet is made to survive in their habitat. Camels are made to survive in the desert, polar bears survive in the arctic, and even humans have different skin colors to survive in their environment. I believe the same occurs for our temperament.  According to Boethius (480-525 CE), God foresees our free thoughts and actions. He believed that God knows everything, not only the past and the present, but also the future. I believe this as well, and this along with religion stating that we are all made in the eyes of God, I believe that God knows the trouble we will face and has made us to survive when our environment changes.

Everything that happens to me happens because I am suited to survive this environment/situation. “If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it.” Given the current situation I am in, I could have easily gotten hot headed and started letting my emotions take over. But all I did was stay calm and really laugh at the situation because in the end the truth will come out and it won’t be the big fuss I would have imagined in the first place. Because of our relax personality, my brother and I will just sit back and watch it unravel. In the end, everything will be ok. Because we were made to survive this!!

 

Posted in My Philosophy | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

My Blog Found Its Purpose

Posted on March 26, 2011 by

I have always been fascinated with philosophy. I loved listening to my professors teach about being in Being, thinking, and asking questions. I even have several philosophy books but honestly, I cant read them. They make no sense to me. So I never made an effort to learn. I have finally met someone so interested in philosophy that he enabled me to start it up again. I had always been struggling with thoughts about “What’s the purpose of life?”, “Who am I?”, “Where do I fit in in this world?”. See, I have a problem with the rules of society. I refuse to let society tell me what’s “normal”. Chris really helped me realize who I am and how to live my life. I came to the conclusion that I need to make myself happy and live the way God meant for us to live. I am really grateful that he came into my life. I really appreciate every moment we spend together. He has no idea how his words have changed my outlook of the world, my thoughts, my life! Him just being himself has allowed me to be me. I am truly lucky.

Throughout history people have been killed for being different. To fit in or not to fit in? – that is the question. Here is my point of view:  It takes a really strong person to stand up to their beliefs. And if this means getting crucified, then so be it. I much rather die for who I am then live pretending to be something I’m not. And in the end, the people who made that judgment, are the ones are who are not living the way we were meant to be. They’re hypocrites!! They call themselves Christians (or whatever religion) but they are quick to judge and commit sin. In the end, I’m clean. They can pretend and find loop holes and convince themselves they are forgiven. It’s a tough world, very complicated if you let it rule you. Chris debates with me that there needs to be balance. No balance, Jesus didn’t balance his life to please everyone. He stood up for his belief!!

In the last 2 months, I have finally figured out what I need to do. I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. And as my first post, I will share how I see the world. This is my journey to living my life and making me happy. Enjoy this moment, this moment is your life. I am learning to not keep track of time. There is no past, there is no future. All I know is that I’m in this moment and I need to embrace it. As Heraclitus said, you can never step into the same river, for new waters are always flowing onto you.

Also, I would like to thank my new friends Cyndi, David, Oren, and Ryan for sparking up the topic, making me realize my passion, and giving my blog an identity. Thanks for forming our new little circle of best friends that complete strangers can make!!

 

Posted in My Philosophy | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments